A Cut Above Brokenness
Excerpts From Her Forthcoming Book Entitled: A Cut Above Brokenness ::
Sonia Genevieve-Sherri Says “Heaven Didn’t Make a Mistake When It Made Us…”
I distinctly remember strolling down the streets of my childhood neighborhood staring up at the pale limestone imperial buildings towering over me, their shadows protecting me from the hot Mediterranean sun. I remember all the wonderful things most kids remember, like the jingle of the ice cream truck from far off and all of us scrambling to find some coins to get our favorite flavor. I recall long, endless summer nights dressing up and playing in the piazza, the town square, the hub of all social interaction and an integral part of living in Mediterranean Europe.
I particularly remember playing in the school playground across from my grandmother’s home until my mother would call us in, begging all the while and to no avail I might add, to play just a while longer. Those are memories of the good things that brought peace to my daily life as a child. But with those fond recollections are also the remembrances of secret unspoken acts by a teacher who stripped me of my youthful innocence so passionately treasured and so easily lost.
As a young girl with a delicate persona, unreasonable self hatred had me in its grasp. I would lie down in bed and think of a place that was safe that I might be able to escape to. It worked its way into my mind and tormented me until finally, fatigued; I would drift off to sleep. Shadows of a male figure became a symbol of evil doing; noises in the side streets signaled someone coming to get me. Or so I thought.
As I got older my undeserved childhood shame was replaced with different masks to hide behind. I was afraid of interacting with people. Afraid someone wouldn’t like me or understand me, always protecting myself from rejection. Trying to manage that kind of seething internal emotion was simply draining, but it became my existence. The way I survived. I learned that to live in pretense was easier than facing the broken pieces of myself.
It took years of heart bruises before I was able to emerge from the oppressive tunnel of my emotions into the welcoming light of maturity. I knew it was keeping me from so many things this world had to offer me; I desperately wanted to be free of it once and for all. Building relationships seemed impossible as most just ended up with my desperate need to run as soon as they got too close because the truth was they never really got to know the real me anyway.
I am aware from a taught understanding that some pain, childhood experiences, and stress are normal, but when it gets out of control it impacts our lives on so many levels. Even our health can be threatened by manifestations of extreme turmoil: eating disorders, social conditions, headaches, migraines, and many other self induced illnesses. These toxic emotions had affected my core balance in my youth so much that I was unable to find myself completely and was plagued with Anorexia.
What I know to be true is this. The first priority will always be my spiritual health. That which is centered and that which brings order into my life. Whether open or not to an understanding of the realm of the spirit, we are people who need that order to keep our emotional health at its best.
It is so easy to place a false identity on ourselves and to let the world around us tell us who we should be. Let’s face it we all have a voice in our youth who placed their expectations upon us. I have realized that to fully be ‘well with my soul’ I have to embrace truth. I am always going to struggle with loving myself, children who have experienced abuse always do. But I now understand that the choice to stop the endless cycle of hiding my true self has been inside me all along. I can teach my children to overcome, believe and to be content with who they are. Successful or not my acceptance and love can flow unwavering from me like a wellspring of strength. When we can overcome our fear of self and love we can become who we were created and destined to be.
We are able to give love to others because we’re no longer afraid of the outcome. We are no longer afraid to be rejected. We become 100% ABLE to love without measure and even embrace the true meaning of unconditional love. There will come a day that we will no longer concern ourselves with striving for achievement or someone to say well done so … Say it loud and proud…
“Heaven didn’t make a mistake when it made us and God promises to restore our life and heal our hearts.”
It’s up to you but just maybe you too want to dare to trust. Trust Him with the outcome of your life. Trust Him on His promises. Trust him with how he created us because he made everything beautiful in its time.
From my heart to yours,
Sonia
SONIA GENEVIEVE-SHERRI: Life Specialist
REGION: Australia
CONTACT SONIA GENEVIEVE-SHERRI:
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